This is an experiment. Normally I put a lot of thought into my writing, and even for something as insignificant as a blog post that all of three people will read I write and revise over and over until I’m pretty satisfied with the result. Not this time though. This is one pass only. I’m writing what I’m thinking and then it’s done. Ugliness, shit metaphors, poor structure, repetitiveness and all.
Last week, I had a discussion with a lovely and intelligent girl who did not know me very well, but who surmised that I’m the kind of person who likes to take risks. I think I had joked about being skilled at crashing two wheeled vehicles, mentioned being a bike messenger, or whatever. The focus was, she had read an article once that said risk-prone people (let’s call my type danger-phyllic) tend to be more depressed because we’re constantly craving an adreneline rush and so are unsatisfied with the simpler and more sedate pleasures in life. While danger-phobic people may be able to take great pleasure going for a leisurely stroll, my type isn’t happy unless the stroll is experienced in fast forward, possibly with large vehicles moving rapidly in the opposite direction. At the time of our conversation, I agreed and said this is part of why I meditate, to move beyond my manic thirst for adreneline. But later, reflecting more, I realized that my love of danger (and let’s not exagerate here, I may like my thrills, but I’m not a Jackass cast member or anything) is more closely related to my meditation practice than would immediately seem apparent.
I have long said that going fast is a lot like not moving at all. To race a motorcycle or a snowboard or any other vehicle, one must become very calm and possess a mind as unflappable as lioness on the hunt. I know there are plenty of racers who are complete cocky asses, but I have to respect them on some level because I understand that no matter how arrogant and hotheaded they are off the track, in the race they become some fusion of a comet and a tai chi master. Racing is like playing chess while skydiving, and it is my desire to cultivate that type of awareness that draws me to risk.
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